Four

A quick visit from my North Carolina brother this weekend. There have been many over the past year but this was the first time he came by himself, since the early weeks after Mom died. He had some errands to run and then he and I went to Goodwill to look around. I bought bodice-ripper romance novels to resell and a nice sweater.

Larry thought that Dad, bro. and I should have an old-fashioned family supper, so he stayed home and my bro and I wandered next door. Dad made dinner for us. I asked if he wanted help. He said no. He almost always says no. My bro and I sat in the living room while dinner prep sounds came from the kitchen, along with that early evening golden light that you get when homes come to life again at the end of the day, and the background noise of whatever was on the kitchen TV while Dad worked. I sat with my book. My brother dozed off. He'd been awake since he left NC at 4:30 AM. I couldn't concentrate on my book. I kept thinking, It's like it used to be, years ago. We have parents taking care of things while we wait to be called for supper. When Dad came to door and said "Feed!" we gathered at the table and held hands for the grace ritual and were a family of three, but really, as we held hands across Mom's empty place, and even afterward, we were that family of four.

But I have the soul of a cat and I do not like change.